Friday, December 30, 2005

Gratitude & Bliss

This Yule season has been filled with love and generosity. I am filled with Gratitude.

On this quiet cold winter day, clear skied, warm inside I give Thanks for the many blessings I have swirling around, infusing every facet of my life.

Life is Right.

The Path Beautiful.

Blessed Be!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

A Generous Spirit

Dear David,

I am blessed to have been a part of your heart's circle. 11 years after your death, emotion fills me with a swirling of love and gratitude, despair and loneliness, and simple sadness for my lost friend, mentor, and teacher now that these belongings you had set aside for me have finally arrived. I am deeply moved that you would pass on some of your treasures to me.

Tears welled up as I opened the long awaited box... and then three days later the wailings of one deep in mourning poured out when I sat down to finally write what I felt.

You taught me to trust my creative instincts, to trust the uniqueness of me, even in its extreme facets. Your example taught me to be generous in teaching. You affirmed that we should laugh and have fun, work hard, and be proud of the results. You shared your journey with me. I was thrilled to watch your career vault into amazing projects. Our friendship/mentorship included sharing the nasty little details like procrastinating by cleaning and fluffing, something we both fell prey to, and still I struggle with!

And then the terrible news came and you shared your dying with me...

For your trust and the love that was/is there between us I mourn the lost visits with you that your death stole from me and from your family, your friends, your students, your own creativity, from the world that is not as bright without your soul shining in artistic journey among us.

11 years I have waited for these things, not knowing what they were, only that you had entrusted our friend to get them to me... Finally my grieving can come to a close. You are in my heart and that can never change. I know you are free in heaven enjoying the astounding welcome that is God's gift to those who return home.

Thank you for
Welcoming me into your life,
Your heart,
Your resonating creativity.

You are a treasure in my life forever.
I know the Joy of God's embrace has welcomed you home in perfect love.
I love you David.
Rest in Peace.

Blessed Be!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Torture on my Mind

Image from a Yule card I received last year. My thanks to the artist for gracing us with such beauty as I write on what is not.

Torture on my Mind

Torture and confessions... what wouldn't you say if pain is being, has been, mercilessly inflicted? Humans are not meant to feel pain except as a safety mechanism to initiate a flight response.

Who are the torturers? What evil have they survived to be able to inflict wounds, degradation, misery, and pain in unrelenting, methodical, and organized ways on another human being?
Who are the people that order the torture?
Who authorizes the use of torture?

It is criminal to abuse a child, so, how can it be morally justifiable to abuse an adult? Even the worst person does not deserve to be tortured. No justice is served and the debasment of Humanity is perpetuated. We do ourselves injustice when we allow there to be people in our sphere of influence who we will say deserve treatment other than we ask for ourselves. Have we forgotten The Golden Rule?

Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

How do torturers resolve this?
How do their confessors?
How do those who support torture in any instance resolve this?

Do we not remember what it is like to be a child, innocent and accepting?
Perhaps we could agree to display The Golden Rule in public places. And especially in all the secret, non-existing government "facilities", and military intelligence gathering training manuals, and police protocols, and... how about high school bathrooms? I invite you to offer your ideas for more good places to have the Golden Rule posted as a reminder to all who call themselves human.

To call on God to Bless any "mission" that uses "whatever means are necessary" to achieve suspect ends is an abomination. How can we stand for a president to call for our laws to give him torture as a way to "get the job done"?

~A Nightmare:

The final act: evil metal devices worn on my torturer's thumbs... his right thumb pressing into my left temple, causing pressure... no doubt damaging pressure on my brain, my balance? My thinking? Torture on my mind, my brain, literally. How deeply will my torturer press? What must I say to make it stop?

I broke the dream to stop the damage.

The prayer of all tortured was granted me,
"Please let this be only a nightmare that I'll wake up from".
~Blessedly, for me, it was just that.