Finding Icons

Inspiration, faith, sacrifice, and work ~ all self-oriented and a necessary ingredient of success; the Nazi's boiled it down to Arbeit Macht Frei... Chilling, exactly because it was forced on penalty, and more often than not, reward of death.

A comment, or observation, perhaps a question.

Self-awareness, discipline, and motivation. Can we be free if we pursue our dreams with work?

As a young person, can one even know the value of self-motivation? Did Mozart, or Bob Dylan, or CatPower understand their process and work it? Does it just flow for some who are gifted?

For me it has taken mistakes and reflection and second and third tries to know I missed something good because my eyes couldn't see, past internal dramas, the Path beyond.

Still I struggle to see ahead. My internal drama constant though experience brings wisdom. I begin to see opportunities along the way. I strive to catch them when they present. I'm finding that faith carries me from one disappointment to the next day's chores and a renewed effort at creating dreams into reality.

So, these petunias in the red pot sitting in the no-longer empty white wrought-iron stand give me comfort even as I lick the wounds of past tumbles and disappointments. Something in the purple and pink blooms I brought home whispers in my Soul: The day was a success even if you are too wounded to see it now.

Another day.

Let time pass. Watch the wither and fade of summer blooms bursting fresh everyday. See that in pulling yourself together you become a new person. Not afraid to let go and cry, strong enough to pick up your own pieces and make the days count. You will know yourself to be a potent and skillful person in even more difficult situations when they occur.

Arbeit Macht Frei
Freedom is a Struggle.
Fight the good fight.

Bare Feet Not Arms

She is running again. Not running from herself but finding the strength at her core. Wise child born calm in the midst of creative struggles. She runs for reason. Wisdom feeding on the manna of self-discovery.

She is finding her way. Leading the way for those wandering, wondering, willing to run.

Blessed Be!

Daughter Dear

My heart aches for your love.
My womb mourns your absence.
My eyes long for your smile.
My ears yearn for your laughter.

My mind knows your strength and intelligence.
My voice sings you to sleep, gentles your fears,
Celebrates your Soul.
You and I are one,
Cherished Child.

My heart misses your imagination.
My womb remains unused in this life
Waiting for a kind & peaceful world to bring us into being
Mother & Child.

My eyes see you in the innocence of others.
My ears delight in the chatter of children I meet.
My mind is ready with wisdom to share with any who will receive.
My voice is strong and sure as I encourage them to be all they dream,
to take time to be a child, to laugh and play and eat vegetables.

I am childless by choice and my heart is happy.
In motherhood I've not found my way.
In Life I've found Joy.

My heart glows with maternal fire.
I cast its light & warmth freely.
When it is felt and shared, Dear Child,
My Heart is warmed with Your Love.

Blessed Be!

Precious Kisses

He still remembers kisses~

Precious is there for him freely bestowing her Darling with kisses, with love in her eyes he responds to her with smiling eyes and pursed lips.
Precious kisses and Darling remembers
* the love at first sight
* the unwavering loyalty
* the Joy of this family
Darling remembers his Precious's kisses.
His mind had lost so much
but this one golden truth remained:

His Love is True.

Rest in Peace Daddy.

Blessed Be!

Reflecting...

Reflecting on being adrift...

Referring to myself as a bit of bark, worn down by caress of water's edge and the grasp it had on its branch of origin... Would an analyst say I lacked self confidence, or had far too much modesty? I think I've finally shown some humility... Not a seeded limb, to take root and sprout another tree, I am a barren bit of bark.... But maybe the shape is such that where it lands an artist will pick it up to use in creative expression. Maybe, the lay of the land will hold it cradled till time and space cover it in mud, and centuries later, when waters return, there will lay an ocher-red piece of petrified bark, magical and warm to the touch...

I find these kinds of things all the time. My eye is drawn to the odd shape, the incongruous detail. Bits like this are treasures to me. And now, to comfort me, things only Dad could know would delight me are turning up in my path. Dad is gone...

It's funny how many things directly related to his Being are in my path, popping up like in a pinball machine... Funny things that make me smile with the realization that Dad is everywhere! That he is able to comfort me with new skills. That he wants me to be happy.

His Boyceterous vim & vigah are restored 100-fold!!! (probably 100 to the millionth power!!!)

Still, my tears reveal how much I miss him.

Blessed Be!

Adrift

Adrift.

In process.

Transition in progress...

Like a bit of bark attached to its branch at the river's edge which has finally broken free after years of the water's caress, and the branch's hold.

Now it's free... Shaped by its dance with the water and its own grasp on the branch from which it grew ~released by time and gentle force of water's flow ~ now it rides, trusting, swirling on flowing surface of water.

Where will the Journey land it?

So, I twist this despair and relief and gratitude for Dad's release to Heaven into strength and vision. I know it will land me somewhere beautiful as the shape I float with is whittled and loved into being by Dad's loving, funny and intelligent care~ And, even as he walks his new path his Being is now expanded to walk with us as we gather in family to mourn our lost Daddy...

His light is cast upon my drift and will illuminate my Journey.

Blessed Be!

Lazy Tendencies ~The Waning

Lazy Tendencies ~The Waning

I observe that humans have a tendency to take the lazy way out. We grieve by sleeping and eating, even as that type of grieving yields only more to grieve for. We grow fat and despondent; things begin to fall apart around us and we wonder why, crunching away. I could easily go that way except for being on the cusp of a completely new me.

The new me is getting stronger and does not want me to go any further down the lazy path. There is a new fit tone me who wants to run, ride, dance, paint, create, and write in pursuit of my elusive dream!

I want to be running, writing stories, and illustrating ideas. I want to be with myself when an idea becomes a real thing to share with the world. The stronger more confident self is winning the battles more and more often even as these struggles wane... even my sad unsure self likes me better and is beginning to trust my choices.

So, run & contemplate the doubt of the voice, paint & contemplate the unsure strokes, ride and breathe life into the memories and stories.

I live so you can sing your songs.

Blessed Be!

Flowering Tears

Blooming.
Winter stems dry and pregnant with seed.
Clearing the land, seeds scatter everywhere.

No more laughter till tears glisten.
No more disagreement in philosophies
even as understanding deepened friendship.
No more looking forward to vibrant visits
over lunches shared.
Our potent circle of friends no longer hears your voice.

Did you not understand how much we loved your Soul?

Your heart ached so inconsolably that your husband,
family, and best friend could not convince you to stay.

So suddenly you were gone.

I breathed even as you lay taking your last.
From where I listened nothing would change.
Your intended outcome.
And so, Friend of mine,
And so many others,
You're resting peacefully now.
Your heart no longer aching.

I imagine you singing freely now.
If only I could hear
With these mortal ears
The voice I've just learned that you also sang with.

So much is lost.

January Full Moon Prayer

Let the corrupting force of money continue in its spectacular death. Let those who've put money above peoples' lives share in the vivid revelations. Let this death be swift and sure, and in its public end, ensure that evil is rendered powerless. Let those who've married power and evil be left penniless. Let them be clearly aware of their own bankrupt actions, yet let there be grace.

Let their clarity be infused with hope. Let these people see at last a path for doing good with the knowledge their wrongful actions and experience has left them with.

Let Our Mother Earth begin to know peace. Let me see in my own lifetime the manifestation of these prayers. Let my sadness never be more profound than my hope and my faith that prayer brings about miracles.

Let us all begin to see the smiling children as our own no matter what their color, what their birthright, no matter what country of origin.

And so ~ The month is begun.
And so ~ The month begins with hope.

Shall we each set about caring for the elements here in our own sphere of influence so that we create little miracles in our own lives?
Shall these miracles ripple in the ocean of Humanity?
Reflecting and returning, endlessly bouncing on miracles
Born of other hopeful and glad hearts?

I pray for fear of others to vanish. I pray to see hatred no longer set against skin color, accent, and language. Let instead, evil, violence, bigotry, and small-mindedness be hated. Let these things wither and die, transformed forever in the cosmic compost heap.

This is my prayer on this full moon this first month of this New Year.

Blessed Be!

Gratitude & Bliss

This Yule season has been filled with love and generosity. I am filled with Gratitude.

On this quiet cold winter day, clear skied, warm inside I give Thanks for the many blessings I have swirling around, infusing every facet of my life.

Life is Right.

The Path Beautiful.

Blessed Be!

A Generous Spirit

Dear David,

I am blessed to have been a part of your heart's circle. 11 years after your death, emotion fills me with a swirling of love and gratitude, despair and loneliness, and simple sadness for my lost friend, mentor, and teacher now that these belongings you had set aside for me have finally arrived. I am deeply moved that you would pass on some of your treasures to me.

Tears welled up as I opened the long awaited box... and then three days later the wailings of one deep in mourning poured out when I sat down to finally write what I felt.

You taught me to trust my creative instincts, to trust the uniqueness of me, even in its extreme facets. Your example taught me to be generous in teaching. You affirmed that we should laugh and have fun, work hard, and be proud of the results. You shared your journey with me. I was thrilled to watch your career vault into amazing projects. Our friendship/mentorship included sharing the nasty little details like procrastinating by cleaning and fluffing, something we both fell prey to, and still I struggle with!

And then the terrible news came and you shared your dying with me...

For your trust and the love that was/is there between us I mourn the lost visits with you that your death stole from me and from your family, your friends, your students, your own creativity, from the world that is not as bright without your soul shining in artistic journey among us.

11 years I have waited for these things, not knowing what they were, only that you had entrusted our friend to get them to me... Finally my grieving can come to a close. You are in my heart and that can never change. I know you are free in heaven enjoying the astounding welcome that is God's gift to those who return home.

Thank you for
Welcoming me into your life,
Your heart,
Your resonating creativity.

You are a treasure in my life forever.
I know the Joy of God's embrace has welcomed you home in perfect love.
I love you David.
Rest in Peace.

Blessed Be!

Torture on my Mind

Image from a Yule card I received last year. My thanks to the artist for gracing us with such beauty as I write on what is not.

Torture on my Mind

Torture and confessions... what wouldn't you say if pain is being, has been, mercilessly inflicted? Humans are not meant to feel pain except as a safety mechanism to initiate a flight response.

Who are the torturers? What evil have they survived to be able to inflict wounds, degradation, misery, and pain in unrelenting, methodical, and organized ways on another human being?
Who are the people that order the torture?
Who authorizes the use of torture?

It is criminal to abuse a child, so, how can it be morally justifiable to abuse an adult? Even the worst person does not deserve to be tortured. No justice is served and the debasment of Humanity is perpetuated. We do ourselves injustice when we allow there to be people in our sphere of influence who we will say deserve treatment other than we ask for ourselves. Have we forgotten The Golden Rule?

Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

How do torturers resolve this?
How do their confessors?
How do those who support torture in any instance resolve this?

Do we not remember what it is like to be a child, innocent and accepting?
Perhaps we could agree to display The Golden Rule in public places. And especially in all the secret, non-existing government "facilities", and military intelligence gathering training manuals, and police protocols, and... how about high school bathrooms? I invite you to offer your ideas for more good places to have the Golden Rule posted as a reminder to all who call themselves human.

To call on God to Bless any "mission" that uses "whatever means are necessary" to achieve suspect ends is an abomination. How can we stand for a president to call for our laws to give him torture as a way to "get the job done"?

~A Nightmare:

The final act: evil metal devices worn on my torturer's thumbs... his right thumb pressing into my left temple, causing pressure... no doubt damaging pressure on my brain, my balance? My thinking? Torture on my mind, my brain, literally. How deeply will my torturer press? What must I say to make it stop?

I broke the dream to stop the damage.

The prayer of all tortured was granted me,
"Please let this be only a nightmare that I'll wake up from".
~Blessedly, for me, it was just that.

Moon Cycle Howling

Have we forgotten that even as each month our wombs grow fertile, only wisdom brings the skills and maturity that makes motherhood effective?

I am 42. I have chosen not to have children. I have never been pregnant. Since I was 13 I have known I would not give birth... and the one time I believe I conceived I was able to take the morning after pill and let the child I would have had live on in The Great Spirit's embrace.

Have we forgotten that becoming a parent is more than simply hosting an embryo to full term, or not, as has become so common in our times?

Have we lost faith in the existence of the soul? Do we not believe that our choice to become parents is guided by a Great Spirit that will allow our children to come forth when the time is right?

I lament the adamant voices that cry for citizenry for what is not yet ready to be brought forth from the gates of Life: our female thighs. We must not allow the policies of guilt and repression to take away our wisdom: to have a child is a sacred decision. To be born to parents who have chosen to raise the child to full adulthood, giving the child every advantage for a happy healthy life... This is every Soul's desire.

I believe that bringing Life forth is an honor. I believe that That Which Is Holy supports a woman and her mate in choosing when to bring that life into our contentious reality. I believe that The Holy Spirit has entrusted us with a monthly opportunity to bring forth Love... and requires us to live in Compassionate Truth... and demands that we not bring a life into this world if it will be brought forth into suffering.

Our western cultures are in danger of losing our Wild Wisdom... too many technological distractions... not enough time spent in Nature, observing the Sacred Circle of life, death, rebirth, decay, renewal.

Let your children play outside... let the teens wear sweaters and coats in the winter.... it is not a time to bare midriffs in the incessant quest for sex appeal... Let your children learn to make french toast. Let your children wait to be born till you have finished your self discovery and can offer them compassion and some hard won strength.

Trust in the Blessing of the monthly moon cycle... this is Our Great Spirit's gift to our families and communities... that we are able to bring Life forth, into right balance with time, space, and circumstance.

Blessed BE!

The Road to Kindness

A prayer for Kindness

That which is Kind & Generous
Be fueled.

Those who take away Compassion & Right Action
be shown their errors, Kindly.

Those whose greed for power and money,
has turned their cheeks to Compassion,
be brought Illumination.

Those in power and the many they influence grow
Heart and stop their destruction of
Compassion & Loving Values.

Let no man take away Freedom.

Let no woman deny Wisdom.

Let Kindness & Generosity Guide Us.

Blessed Be!


Christina Boyce 2004


So I begin the revelations. No longer do I hide my vision. This entry marks the start of my show Land & Light ~ Reality, Essence, Vision as it appears and evolves online.

The first pastel from this image is begun... the words of the prayer potent as I listen and read the news around our planet.

It is time for us to nurture our own dreams into reality. It is time for us all to accept the love that flows in our direction. It is a time to understand kindness as it manifests in self love... a time to take care of our Spirit and bodies such that strength and courage become our way.

And, in the care taking spirit I wish all a sound night of sleep and dreams filled with hope bringing imagry. Schlaf Gut!

Roosters' Last Night

Have finished my shift, beginning a new paradigm. Time sheets to count every 5 minutes spent. Having the effect of motivating me to get tick marks in projects that have languished. Feel good about the 44 hours I just gave since Wednesday at 1800 hours.

Home after 0100 hours to pluck 3 roosters from the hen house. All red roosters. They will provide feathers for art, meat for meals, and respite for the 20+ hens we have now. One rooster is left. He is a magnificent Americauna.

Listening to the gypsy music from today's link prepares me to sleep with passionate dreams.... to wake with lavish desire for the dance, the poetry, the song, the LIFE!!!

All week I have been listening to live coverage of Rosa Parks memorial and funeral services. Tears have fallen for the glory she has left on our planet. Excitement fills me from the passionate words I have heard spoken about our nation, our failures, and our struggle for a better world.

I feel it happening. The shift begins. Those who believe that one person can change the world rise up in respect and admiration. We are called to live vibrantly as we believe. Mrs. Parks passing is charging people to speak out for action in honor of Truth and Justice and Freedom.

It is a time to speak truth, to act in grace, and to let the corrupt know that their actions will no longer be tolerated.

It is a time for all who desire a world of Joy for their children, or their friends' children to make sure the vision is made real: ACT locally, THINK globally, DREAM Spiritually, BE physically what you seek to see in this world, in the world you leave to the children of our children.

Thank you Mrs. Parks, Thank you Reverend King, Thank you Gandhi, Thank you to all Souls who have made a stand for a world of glorious diversity, passionate beauty, and deep reverent compassion. I pray we act to honor your examples by living wisely and courageously in our own lives.

Blessed BE!!!

Strength Through Compassion

New moon, my weekend about to end, shift about to begin. Tim and I chopped a cord of wood over our weekend, snapped many bundles of kindling.

Kitchen painting has taken another leap forward. Guatemala colors inspiring the new look, memories surface with each brush stroke.

New water heater... the old one died... so, paint job started on the old will begin anew on the new... or, I will try a different approach. All in the name of environment. A happy home is a vibrant, clean, healing womb.

Note: my MO here is to link my title to a timely news piece, and include an interesting photo.

Today I chose the link Tim sent me earlier about Walmart's "war room"/ image control center. We do not shop there due to the myriad issues that globalization without heart creates and is led in it's example by Walmart which is one of the most powerful corporations in our country. You would think that a corporation that has that kind of earning power would take pride in treating its employees to a premium health care plan and retirement benefits.

I note that another giant company, GM, is pruning its health care benefits for its employees and crowing proudly at the move it considers intelligent as it tries to clear up its financial trouble.

Don't these CEO's and CFO's know that it is their employees that are the life blood of their companies and not the cash flowing in from their product sales?

I grow livid when I hear that a company wants to improve their financial standing and thus will trim health benefits.

I am most grateful to work for a company who cares deeply for the health of its employees.

In the shade of our Grandparent ponderosa tree we grow strong and our hearts grow light. Our life is indeed blessed.

I am Blessed. Blessed Be!

All Hallow's Eve

Happy Halloween!

I return to my musings after many interesting events worthy of writing about... but today I simply mark the holiday and enjoy the lovely fall weather... and return to my studio.

... Well, the trick or treaters are home and hopefully in bed on this school night, as I head over to my studio for a few more peaceful hours of creative exploration.

Finally able to upload a small picture from childhood trick or treating but still experiencing trouble with Blogger photo server. It only lets me add small sized photos. Wonder what is up with that and if they will fix it.

KMart has taken all the home sewing out of contemporary Halloween costuming. Tis doing it quite nicely, no doubt thanks to Martha Stewart.... prison has its benifits I guess.

Blessed Day!

Courage to Speak

Waiting for the edge of winter to slice through the velvet fall. Four roosters roam the yard, running from me even as I bring them food for fattening. Three will serve our hunger. Chicken pot pie this week.

When I consider the choices I've made I am glad.

Faced with new tasks, I find myself challenged to live according to my moral ground. Today I voiced my truth.

I hone my resolve on obstacles placed in my Path by The Great Spirit to test my strength, my awareness, my courage. I am hungry to live a life of integrity.

Arrival

Fall rides in on these chill winds. Indian summer sun warms my skin even as goose flesh raises during pumkin patch wanderings. Chimes deliver poetry capriciously changing directions.

Strident light streams silently, severing past from dark. Designing the way to Fall's brilliant color. We welcome loved ones, anticipate hot apple cider sipped in vibrant conversations. Walls are painted freshly, recipes reviewed, and guest beds made.

Emotions run swiftly along Life's edge. Splashing on banks of change we challenge ourselves to be better to each other. Times call upon us to be activists in our society, to slow down, to watch the world in which our children grow... watch the lettuce grow. A miracle we must teach.

Dreams ripen into crisp relief. Blossoms prevail. Fruits fall. Harvest bears. This feast is ours.

Burn it up!

Fiesta de la Santa Fe... Viva La!

Nuestra Senora de la Paz reigns after La Conquistadora and her Conquistadors realize the offense that may be taken by the people who were "conquered".

The event celebrates the peace that has come to be between the 3 main cultures in the state, Spanish, Native American, and Anglo. The event also celebrates, unofficially, the end of the summer season de las touristes... or so I have long understood it as a native born and much in love with the city. Long since discovered by the same visitors, Santa Fe swells with festival seekers and is departed by locals who have seen it all too often.

I finally returned for a Fiesta visit after perhaps 23 years since the last time I braved the crowds who flood the city to see the spectacle of Zozobra burning.... missing that event but making the official entry of the Fiesta Royalty and the blessed Nuestra Senora de la Paz... ending my visit to see the new spectacle created by friends who are creating their own Zozobra event.

A smaller, closer Zozobra a la West, burning it in a more hospitable venue... This version looks like he belongs to the West clan even... and, their burning is more like the Ft. Marcy park events I remember from my childhood.

Viva la baby Zozobra! Viva la Familia! Viva Nuestra Senora de la Paz!